Musings under the sun – Lakeshore Park. September 2020
So at where it is at, it will be almost 3 whole years since I last had a job. And, wow. There is nothing more that I can say is… thank You Lord. I went back to the Philippines for the first time last December of 2017, and life has never been the same since then. That was the “vacation” that changed everything for me. Especially when it comes to my walk with the LORD.
Working in Canada has always been the identity that everyone has to be imprinted with, especially from a fast-phased, first-world nation, the economy revolves around the workers. Literally, no one has the luxury to be out of work. Back in 2018, we’ve gone to a point where jobs are looking for workers. Everyone has got one; even retired citizens! But that was around February of 2018 when the Lord told me to drop my current job. That time when He said that, everything was so clear and specific. He told me a lot of things that even as I am writing this, I am being reminded of them. His promises, His Words.
The first year of being unemployed was one of the best yet most challenging experiences for me. It was the first time for me to say that I am unemployed. To say that every time whenever I meet people – especially my age! – the pride in me just keeps getting crushed and crushed and crushed. It was like a daily dying to self for me.
Little did I know that even on those times, our God can still teach us big and mighty revelations not only for us but for everyone who has eyes to see and ears to hear.
Financially, it was a big adjustment for me. Before, I can always just go out and eat whenever I wanted. But that time, I learned to be more patient and more seeking. In these times, I learned how to listen more to my Abba’s voice when it comes to going out. I learned how to manage the money that He has provided me. It is in these times when we should become more leaning towards Him. until it becomes a habit, and then it becomes natural. That total dependence on Him.
On the 2nd year of being unemployed, things just became more and more out of my control. It was around this time when my Momcy started having some health challenges that even I had gone to the point of me asking God is He is ready to take her to heaven. Believe it or not, God answered me. He said the exact words I am to write, “No, I am not taking her yet. She still has a lot more things to do and fulfill for My purposes.” – and life has never been the same (again) for me.
Do you know how it feels like to fully surrender your case to GOD, not because you really have no other choice, but because you really have full faith in Him?
Yep, this is how it felt like for me. For the first time in my life, when all is beyond my control, I instead chose to trust. Trust that He will deliver. Trust that He will sustain. Trust that He will heal. Trust that what He has started in our lives, faithfully He will complete – and trusting that we will see through it either in our lifetime on earth or eternal with Him. Thank You Lord for Your grace.
2 years of being unemployed would already be chaotic in all areas of one’s life, even with just the thought of the bills from the rent, car, insurance, and gym membership. How on earth, then, have I kept my sanity, all throughout these years? How can one still write all these things, when the next bill is about to come whether he likes it or not? There is power in resting in Jesus Christ. When I think about His promises for me, even from the time He told me to quit my job, there really is no other response for me than to trust Him. Completely. Even more so as I go through various trials and yes, temptations. I couldn’t say that I did not lose my patience and peace at all – I am writing this because a lot of times I can humbly say I have failed. And that no matter how joyous I may sound and look, I can not say that it isn’t hard.
But that is where Word becomes true in my life. When He said, “Take joy, my brothers and sisters, when you go through various trials and temptations, for you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Now let perseverance finish its work, so you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.”
When He said this in the Bible, I didn’t know He was talking to me about losing a job, being financially challenged, weight-wise getting bigger, and my character being chastened. I didn’t know He was talking to me about the time I was starting to having doubtful thoughts especially with me getting job again. But He did. He was talking about these areas of my life. And His promise is that in the challenging process, let us take joy, because He is maturing and completing us, without lacking anything. So I completely rest in that.
Year 3 is about to hit, and until now the challenges continue to grow, making it more exerting to depend on Him. But that is why being with Christ is a lifetime thing, not just a one night thing. It is a decision made for eternity. No turning back, no turning back. What I realized especially as the 3rd year of me being unemployed is coming, is that in whatever position we are in, problems and challenges are still there. Whether we are rich or lacking, lonely or celebrating, alone or with a lot… there would always be things that will challenge us.
A lot of us depend on what our physical eyes can see, like our savings, our jobs, our friends and families… ourselves. But sadly, one way or another these areas may be bound to fail or fall short. We will go to a point in our lives where we can only do so much. What do we do then, when we reach that point? My friends,3 years in have I not anything that I can proudly boast for in having. Physically I have nothing right now that I can fully and continuously depend on. Not my savings, not my finances, not my friends and family… not even myself.
So instead, I learned to completely depend on our Living God, Who continues to sustain me in all the aspects of my life. 3 years in, and He continues to prove that He is indeed my firm foundation, the Rock on which I stand. I am humbly sharing this long message to prove to you that in these years, God has filled my cup, and He even let me overflow. I have learned a lot of things that can only be learned in having that personal relationship with Him.
Try Him. Try Jesus Christ.
