There were times we stumbled and fell. Times where we grabbed the pen from the Author and tried to write and draw with our own desired designs and colors. Tried to make it work, all for our satisfaction. Tried to hang in there not knowing that we were only hurting our self.
At first, maybe we thought it was for Him. We thought we were doing it for Him. We thought we knew. We thought He’s pleased. We thought… I thought.
But now that God pulled us through from that. What do we do next?
They told us to wait. They told us to prepare. They told us to pray for this desire. They told us to pray for that person too, whoever he/she is. Then what else?
I figured, most of the time we were looking for love in the wrong places and wrong person.
We usually thought we were the ones to wait, but all this time, there He was… waiting for us. Our… Your First Love. Your Creator who breathed life upon you to be loved by Him.
For ladies like me and for our generation today, it pushes us to think and to believe the quote: “I am a strong, independent, woman.” Well… scratch that. I never thought myself of this but in reality, I am a Damsel in distress, not to be saved by a prince, but by the King Himself.
We usually thought we must be perfect first before we can present our self to Him, but no, He meets us right where we are, He meets us in the middle of the storm. In our weakness His strength is fully blown.
All this time, He did the waiting. Come to think of it, we made Him wait or we keep on making Him wait for so long. He’s waiting for us to depend on Him, to be formed and be prepared solely by Him. To trust His capacity to work on greater purposes of life. He’s waiting for you to find your identity in Him.
At one point, I was lead to ask Him, “Who am I to you Abba?” And when the question was raised, the answers were laid down. He presented Himself to me gently, in a way I could handle. Through His anointed people, with books, songs to listen, shows to watch, He presented me His Word, introduced Himself to me through it and laid all His promises.
Did you see the James 4:8 in action? Draw near to God first and He will draw near to you. And mind you, when He shows up, He shows off.
Our Abba created us to pursue an intimate relationship with Him. And when you place yourself in the middle of His love, you will stop looking for it somewhere else, everything just follows, everything just becomes a bonus.
Although there will be times our emotions get stirred up and given some situations, others are being pressured. It is part of our daily battles. Thoughts like “Everybody has someone beside them physically. Everyone around me is getting married, having kids, building their own family. Who is the right person? Or when is the right time? Am I even ready for this?” sometimes, if not most of the time, comes into mind. Friend, you are not alone with this one.
Why is it taking so much time? Like in a fine dining restaurant, even if we may have ordered before anyone else in the room, why does their food get to be served first? The truth is, it’s not about WHO ordered it, but it is about WHAT you ordered. Probably, they ordered a simple dish, but you on the other hand ordered something special. This is true because when I asked my friends who are chefs/cooks, they told me that they become more passionate about what they serve when their customers choose the special menu instead of ordering for the usual, for the instant. There, they really take time and effort because someone trusted their talents, skills, and love for serving good food. Maybe because we asked for something that’s making the Chef take His time. To serve it to you presentably because you’re special and the Chef wanted to serve you the best.
Remember this. God is good. God is Love. We must hold on to these because the Bible tells us so. He knows His plans for you, they are good and not for disaster, it is to give you a future and a hope (Jeremiah 29:11).
God is not selfish. Then what’s making it so hard for us to agree with His simple request to just sit still and wait? I personally believe that He will not give it to you or awaken it within you unless you’re ready. Although there are even some who are obviously ready, yet their desires about it is not really for that. Only the Author knows what He is doing for His greater purposes. But if you’re led and chose to have this desire, then believe that He will give it to you in His perfect time, perfect person, and perfect situation.
Marriage is way beyond what we think it is. It is spiritual. It is so crucial to decide upon because our individual calling will be greatly affected if we partner or submit this to the wrong person. So, we really have to be careful.
Go therefore, your First love is waiting with arms open wide. Give Him your heart, let it be so hidden that if anyone wants to pursue you, they’ll have to pursue Him first.
Now what makes the waiting bearable? Read your Bible and then you tell me… hmm maybe over a cup of coffee?